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Een groot aantal pokerrooms geven
de mogelijkheid om poker te spelen op internet en geld te storten via het veilige iDeal betaalsysteem. |
Vers van notalwaysright.com
Navy Seal’s Fate is Sealed
Restaurant | Toulon, France
(The restaurant is near a Navy base and thus, sometimes, sailors and officers off-duty come to eat. A man and his girlfriend come in. They haven’t reserved a table, were rude and snotty with my co-workers, complained a lot about the food and talked loudly and sometimes mocked the other customers. My manager decides that enough is enough when the man lit a cigarette after requesting his bill.)
Manager: “Sir, you can’t smoke here.”
Customer: “Yes I can.”
Manager: “Sir, you’re in a smoke-free zone. Either go away or put out this cigarette.”
(The customer gets up. He’s clearly taller and larger than the manager and glances at him.)
Customer: “Buddy, listen. I’m a Navy’s lieutenant, so I’m not going to take crap from civvies. Just shut up and let me smoke.”
(At this point, I decide to call the police when I notice another customer with his family getting up and going straight to the troublemaker.)
Customer #2: “Did I hear you’re in the Navy?”
Customer: “Yeah, so?”
Customer #2: “You work at the base here?”
Customer: “What? Get the f*** out, you d*** civvie!”
Customer #2: “You know [name]?”
Customer: “Who the f*** are you and what the f*** do you want?”
Customer #2: “Do you know [name]?”
Customer: “[name] is my superior!”
Customer #2: “Well, I’m HIS superior, and as soon as I’m out of here, I’ll make sure he lights your a** up.”
(The second customer pulls out a military ID and shows it to him. The troublemaking customer goes white, apologizes profusely to the manager and the customer, pays his bill and storms off with his girl WHILE SOBBING. Turns out the man showed him his military ID, and he’s a Navy’s rear-admiral. Needless to say, we gave a huge discount to the officer.)
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Inventors Should Get Out Of Their Shell
Pet Store | Mobile, AL, USA
Coworker: *on phone* “For a turtle? No ma’am, we only have those for cats and dogs. … I’ve never heard of that before, but if they exist, we don’t carry them. … I’m sorry, I’m a cashier and I’m not allowed to make those kinds of decisions. … Okay, you’re welcome.”
*hangs up phone*
Me: “Did she want a pet carrier for a turtle?”
Coworker: “Yeah, and when I told her that we don’t have them, she asked if we would carry them if she invented one.”
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Directionless Call, Part 2
Office | Chicago, IL, USA
Me: “Hello, this is [Company Name].”
Caller: “Hi, who just called me?”
Me: “I’m not sure. You’ve reached general reception.”
Caller: “Well, someone just called me from this number.”
Me: “Sorry, but there’s no way for me to tell who called you, as this is the general number.”
Customer: “What are you?”
(I explain the company.)
Customer: “I didn’t understand anything about what you just said. Why did you call me?”
Me: “It could be a wrong number.”
Customer: “Ugh, fine. Stop wasting my time by calling me if you don’t know who you are, please!”
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Sadly Wasn’t Born Yesterday, Part 2
Hospital | Texas, USA
Me: “Thank you for calling [hospital]. How may I help you?”
Caller: “Yeah. I had a baby at your hospital about a week ago, and when I was discharged I got a lot of papers and some samples. One of the papers says something about a PKU test.”
Me: “Yes, ma’am. How can I help you with that?”
Caller: “Well, it says on this paper that I need to bring my ‘new arrival’ to registration and they would help me get the PKU test done. I want you to know that I have looked all through the papers and stuff you gave me and I can’t find anything marked ‘new arrival’. What is this ‘new arrival’ I am supposed to bring with me when I come in?”
Me: “Ma’am, that would be your infant child…your new baby.”
Caller: “Oh my freaking God! If you mean ‘new baby’, then write ‘new baby’! Not everyone understands this hospital medical jargon!”
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Children Get Sick Periodically
Pharmacy | New York, New York, USA
(A woman walks into the store with her young daughter. Her daughter looks feverish and is sniffling.)
Customer: “Oh look honey, they have candy bars. Go get yourself one while mommy shops for her things.”
(The little girl walks up to the counter and takes a candy bar.)
Me: “Are you feeling okay, little girl?”
Daughter: “My mommy says as long as she gets her tampons, I’ll feel better.”
(The girl suddenly vomits all over the candy bars and on the counter.)
Daughter: “QUICK MOMMY! GET YOUR TAMPONS!”
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Not Much Between The Temples
Synagogue | Pembroke Pines, FL, USA
Customer: “I need to speak to the person in charge!”
Me: “I’m sorry, I’m the only one in the office right now. Is there anything I can help you with?”
Customer: “There’s no Jesus memorabilia in your display cases!”
Me: “Ma’am, this is a temple. Maybe you’re looking for the church across the street?”
Customer: “I know this is a temple you dumb b****! All temples need Jesus in them. Otherwise, how is this a house of worship?”
Me: “I’m going to have to ask you to calm down, there’s a preschool class next door. And Jews don’t believe in Jesus as being a–”
Customer: *yelling* “What?! What the f*** do you mean you don’t believe in Jesus our Lord? How long has this been going on?!”
Me: “I’d say a good thousand years prior to Jesus, ma’am.”
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Winding Down On Dialing Up
Tech Support | Hawaii, USA
Me: “Thank you for contacting technical support. How can I help you?”
Customer: *whispering* “Can you shut my internet off for four hours?”
Me: “I could disable the port, but may I ask why?”
Customer: *whispering* “My son has been locked in his room since last night and he won’t come out or talk to me. He hasn’t eaten breakfast yet and it’s 3 pm.”
Me: “I suppose I could, however, you will need to call us to re-enable your connection.”
Customer: “Thank you! I don’t know what he’s doing in there on the computer. It’s been like this since we got your internet.”
Me: “Your connection has been disabled. Is there anything else I can do for you tonight?”
Customer: “No, thank you. I hope he comes out soon!”
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Trons Legacy
Theme Park | Florida, USA
(I work at a certain attraction where you run, jump and dance at the video capture station, then that video is put into a video game and the avatar is yourself. A little girl approaches.)
Me: “Hello sweetheart, have you played before?”
Girl: “No.”
Me: “Well, basically you run jump and dance in here. Then, our computers put you into the video game!”
Girl: “But…how do we get out of the video game?”
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Off The Clock, Customer Block, Part 2
Copy Shop | Cleveland, Ohio, USA
Customer: “Are you guys open on Saturday?”
Me: “No ma’am, I’m sorry. We are open Monday through Friday 9am to 6pm.”
Customer: “Well, could you get someone to come in? I’m in a hurry and this really can’t wait all weekend.”
Me: “So you want us to come in on our day off so we can work on your order?”
Customer: “Well, when you say it like that, you make me sound like I’m being a jerk.”
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Racemaniac
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