Don't you want to be an urban legend, Nat? All your friends are now.

-This is the urban legend about the baby-sitter, right? She's getting those
scary, harassing phone calls.
And when she traces them back, they're coming from inside the house!
But, asswipe, aren't you forgetting something? I'm not baby sitting any
kids.
=Wrong legend. This is the one about the old lady who dries her wet dog
in the microwave.
ping

Aren't you glad you didn't turn on the lights

QuiniZ schreef:

there is no spoon...

@ vollmond: damn tligt op et toppekke van men tong!!! aargh welke film nuweer!!

I know kungfu... show me...

priest: you'll burn in hell for this
pinhead: Burn? Oh, such a limited imagination!

boy (ziet pinhead): Jesus christ!
pinhead: not quite...

no tears please, it's a waste of good suffering

come to freddy

FREEEEEDOOOOOOOOOOM

Large Man with Dead Body: Who's that then?
The Dead Collector: I dunno, must be a king.
Large Man with Dead Body: Why?
The Dead Collector: He hasn't got shit all over him.

1st soldier with a keen interest in birds: You're using coconuts!
King Arthur: What?
1st soldier with a keen interest in birds: You've got two empty halves of coconut and you're bangin' 'em together.

King Arthur: I am your king.
Woman: Well I didn't vote for you.
King Arthur: You don't vote for kings.
Woman: Well how'd you become king then?

Sir Bedevere: ...and that, my liege, is how we know the Earth to be banana shaped.

We are the Knights who say... NI.

[Nigel is playing a soft piece on the piano]
Marty DiBergi: It's very pretty.
Nigel Tufnel: Yeah, I've been fooling around with it for a few months.
Marty DiBergi: It's a bit of a departure from what you normally play.
Nigel Tufnel: It's part of a trilogy, a musical trilogy I'm working on in D minor which is the saddest of all keys, I find. People weep instantly when they hear it, and I don't know why.
Marty DiBergi: It's very nice.
Nigel Tufnel: You know, just simple lines intertwining, you know, very much like - I'm really influenced by Mozart and Bach, and it's sort of in between those, really. It's like a Mach piece, really. It's sort of...
Marty DiBergi: What do you call this?
Nigel Tufnel: Well, this piece is called "Lick My Love Pump".

Nigel Tufnel: The numbers all go to eleven. Look, right across the board, eleven, eleven, eleven and...
Marty DiBergi: Oh, I see. And most amps go up to ten?
Nigel Tufnel: Exactly.
Marty DiBergi: Does that mean it's louder? Is it any louder?
Nigel Tufnel: Well, it's one louder, isn't it? It's not ten. You see, most blokes, you know, will be playing at ten. You're on ten here, all the way up, all the way up, all the way up, you're on ten on your guitar. Where can you go from there? Where?
Marty DiBergi: I don't know.
Nigel Tufnel: Nowhere. Exactly. What we do is, if we need that extra push over the cliff, you know what we do?
Marty DiBergi: Put it up to eleven.
Nigel Tufnel: Eleven. Exactly. One louder.
Marty DiBergi: Why don't you just make ten louder and make ten be the top number and make that a little louder?
Nigel Tufnel: [pause] These go to eleven.

[When asked what happened to their first drummer]
David St. Hubbins: He died in a bizarre gardening accident...
Nigel Tufnel: Authorities said... best leave it... unsolved.

Dominator schreef:
dojo, welke film is da?

Brian: I am NOT the Messiah!
Arthur: I say you are Lord, and I should know. I've followed a few.

Wise Man #1: We were led by a star.
Brian's mother: Led by a bottle, you mean.

Suicide Squad Leader: We are the Judean People's Front crack suicide squad! Suicide squad, attack!
[they all stab themselves]
Suicide Squad Leader: That showed 'em, huh?

Brian's mother: He's not the Messiah. He's a very naughty boy!

Brian: Look, you've got it all wrong! You don't NEED to follow ME, You don't NEED to follow ANYBODY! You've got to think for your selves! You're ALL individuals!
The Crowd: Yes! We're all individuals!
Brian: You're all different!
The Crowd: Yes, we ARE all different!
Man in crowd: I'm not...
The Crowd: Sch!

always look on the bright side of life...

Orges are like onions

Do you know the muffin man

heat up the ovens, we have a big order to fill

Now i'm a talking flying donkey

"This is paradise, I'm tellin' ya. This town like a great big pussy jus' waitin' to get fucked." (Tony to Manny)

"I'm Tony Montana! You fuck wit me, you fuckin' wit da best!"

Eddie: They're armed.
Soap: Armed, armed with what?
Eddie: Err, bad breath, colorful language, feather duster... what do you think they're gonna be armed with? Guns, you tit!

Rory Breaker: If the milk turns out to be sour, I ain't the kinda pussy to drink it.

Winston: We grow copious amounts of ganja here, and you're carrying a wasted girl and a bag of fertilizer. You don't look like your average horti-fucking-culturalist.

Tom: It's not worth him giving us any trouble, 'cause he knows we'll be a pain in the arse, and who needs a pain in the arse?
Soap: I'd take a pain in the arse for half a million quid.
Tom: You'd take a pain in the arse for air miles.

Bacon: Harry didn't think that he did a very good job, so he grabbed the nearest thing to hand, which just so happened to be a 15 inch black rubber cock, and proceeded to beat poor old Smithy to death with. And that was seen as a nice way to go. Now, that, is why you pay Hatchet Harry, when you owe.

Black Knight: None shall pass.
Arthur: What?
Black Knight: None shall pass.
Arthur: I have no quarrel with you, good Sir Knight, but I must cross this bridge.
Black Knight: Then you shall die.
Arthur: I command you as King of the Britons to stand aside!
Black Knight: I move for no man.
Arthur: So be it!


Arthur cuts off the Black Knight's left arm.

Arthur: Now stand aside, worthy adversary.
Black Knight: 'Tis but a scratch.
Arthur: A scratch? Your arm's off!
Black Knight: No, it isn't.
Arthur: Well, what's that then?
Black Knight: I've had worse.
Arthur: You liar!
Black Knight: Come on you pansy!

Arthur cuts off the Black Knight's right arm.


Arthur: Victory is mine! We thank thee Lord, that in thy mercy...

Black Knight: Come on then.
Arthur: What?
Black Knight: Have at you!
Arthur: You are indeed brave, Sir Knight, but the fight is mine.
Black Knight: Oh, had enough, eh?
Arthur: Look, you stupid bastard, you've got no arms left.
Black Knight: Yes I have.
Arthur: Look!
Black Knight: Just a flesh wound.
Arthur: Look, stop that.
Black Knight: Chicken! Chicken!
Arthur: Look, I'll have your leg. Right!


Arthur cuts off the Black Knight's leg.


Black Knight: Right, I'll do you for that!
Arthur: You'll what?
Black Knight: Come 'ere!
Arthur: What are you going to do, bleed on me?
Black Knight: I'm invincible!
Arthur: You're a loony.
Black Knight: The Black Knight always triumphs! Have at you! Come on then.

Arthur cuts off the Black Knight's other leg.


Black Knight: All right; we'll call it a draw.
Arthur: Come, Patsy.
Black Knight: Oh, oh, I see, running away then. You yellow bastard! Come back here and take what's coming to you. I'll bite your legs off!

Le premier jour, il fit le soleil. Ça pique aux yeux.
Le deuxième jour, il fit l’eau. Ça mouille les pieds si on marche dedans. Puis, il fit le vent. Ça chatouille.
Le troisième jour, il fit l’herbe. Quand on la coupe, elle crie, elle a mal. Il faut la consoler, lui parler gentiment. Quand on touche un arbre, on devient un arbre.
Le quatrième jour, il fit les vaches. Quand elles soufflent, c’est chaud.
Le cinquième jour, il fit les avions. Si on les prend pas, on peut les regarder passer.
Le sixième jour, il fit les gens: les hommes, les femmes et les enfants. Je préfère les femmes et les enfants, parce qu’ils ne piquent pas quand on les embrasse.
Le septième jour, pour se reposer, il fit les nuages. Si on les regarde longtemps, on y voit dessinées toutes les histoires. Alors, il se demanda s’il ne manquait rien.
Le huitième jour, il fit Georges. Et il vit que c’était beau.

Donnie: First of all, Papa Smurf didn't create Smurfette. Gargamel did. She was sent in as Gargamel's evil spy with the intention of destroying the Smurf village, but the overwhelming goodness of the Smurf way of life transformed her. And as for the whole gang-bang scenario, it just couldn't happen. Smurfs are asexual. They don't even have reproductive organs under those little white pants. That's what's so illogical, you know, about being a Smurf. What's the point of living if you don't have a dick?

Donnie: I made a new friend today.
Dr. Lilian Thurman: Real or imaginary?
Donnie: Imaginary.

Donnie: Why do you wear that stupid bunny suit?
Frank: Why are you wearing that stupid man suit?

Kitty Farmer: I'll tell you what he said. He asked me to forcibly insert the Life Line exercise card into my anus.

Donnie: You are such a fuckass.
Elizabeth: Did you just call me a fuckass? You can go suck a fuck.
Donnie: Oh, please, tell me Elizabeth, how exactly does one suck a fuck?

Jim Cunningham: Son... DO YOU SEE THIS? This is an Anger Prisoner. A textbook example. DO YOU SEE THE FEAR, PEOPLE? This boy is scared to death of the truth. Son, it breaks my heart to say this, but I believe you are a very troubled and confused young man. I believe you are searching for the answers in all the wrong places...
Donnie: You're right, actually. I am pretty- I'm, I'm pretty troubled and I'm, I'm pretty confused. But I. . .and I'm afraid. Really, really afraid. Really afraid. But I... I... I think you're the fucking Antichrist.

Gretchen: My mom had to get a restraining order against my step dad. He has emotional problems.
Donnie: Oh, I have those too. What kind does your step dad have?
Gretchen: He stabbed my mom four times in the chest.
Donnie: Oh.

A man who doesn't spend time with his family can never be a real man.

Someday, and that day may never come, I will call upon you to do a service for me.

As far back as I can remember, I've always wanted to be a gangster...